Just go back to bed!

There is this wonderful line in Elizabeth Gilbert's "Eat, Pray, Love" right in the beginning, when Liz is just starting to experience turmoil around her marriage where she goes into the bathroom and hears this voice: "Just go back to bed!" No earth-shattering, life altering command, no great vision asking her to abandon everything right there and then, no field-of-dreams-if-you-build-it-they-will-come-type voice. No, just a quiet voice (which she actually realised as coming from within her) telling her to do the only sensible thing she could do at that moment. Now, Liz at the time is starting to question her life's purpose and meaning so just to "go back to bed" was probably not what she was anticipating. But she obeys. And things start changing.

And isn't that the beauty of how things happen. If - IF - we let it, “It”< and whether you want to call "It" the universe, God, divine guidance, Source> always has to best timing. It is when we interfere or have expectations that things often go pear shaped. Oh, sure we have to take action on the calling, and Liz did, but right at that moment the realization was enough for her. She did not need to do anything more than go back to bed, as her path had already been altered.

And I’m thinking of myself in this scenario. I can procrastinate for days, weeks, months and then when I finally get going, wild horses can't stop me. When I feel a "calling", I want to act immediately. Going back to bed is then not an option. I can just see myself saying - "well, God, (I refer to God not in a religious sense or as a separate entity, but as a name for the divine guidance within and around me), God, you wanted me to realise/see/understand this, and here I am, ready and willing (well sometimes not so willing, but still) - and you're telling me to go back to bed??"

Yet, sometimes it is just the act of surrendering, allowing and doing nothing that is the next step. Actually, come to think of it, if I trust this guidance enough to having come to realise this, shouldn't I also trust it to guide me further? So really, we are probably dealing with my very old and familiar friend, IMPATIENCE. Going back to bed did not mean Liz's life was not going to change; it just was not going to (physically) change THAT NIGHT. That night she needed the rest.

So, let us just "go back to bed" when we need the rest.

Love and light,

Celeste

Being human

We are spiritual beings in a human body. I constantly wish to be more spiritual and often chastise myself for being too "human". I would prefer to let Spirit guide me more, but my ego so often gets the better of me. But yesterday during my walk in the woods I truly marvelled at being in a human body.  The spirit guides and the angels are wonderful beings and I am grateful for their presence in my life, but I almost (well, not really, but almost almost) felt pity on them as I was experiencing the wonder of my (human) senses.

Because I am human, I can SEE. Not merely look at nature but truly see the beauty....little insects, bigger birds....the beauty of the trees, the nuances of colours and shades on rocks and stones, different species of plants and how they grow in unison. And further afield, the intricacies in a painting, the love in a mother's eyes holding her baby, the concentration on the face of children totally engrossed in an activity. Even see the opportunities to bestow compassion and help to others.

Because I am human, I can LISTEN. To birds conversing, branches swaying to the music of the breeze. Even to the stillness, that place within me where all is quiet. Then, when I get back home and hear the neighbours' loud voices, I can choose, before getting irritated and uptight about it, to be grateful for the gift of hearing as it enables me to listen to the world and to my fellow humans. To once more realize we are social beings and be grateful for the connection to and reassurance of people around me.

Because I am human, I can SMELL. What a wonderful gift breathing is! I can welcome the prana deep into my lungs and invite the smells and energies of this world to play and intertwine inside me. What wonderful memories certain fragrances invoke - freshly cut grass, delicious home-made soup, the countryside after being washed by rain - or before, the perfume of a loved one. But I can also smell urbanisation, development and people round me. Whilst all may not be pleasant smells, it reminds me of longing and belonging.

Because I am human, I can TASTE. Yes, whilst walking I can "taste" the bush, but how awesome to taste a sip of water, to taste food, taste a piece of cheesecake, taste a lover. I can experience a smorgasbord of gustatory delights, and it doesn't need to involve food.

But mostly, because I am human, I can FEEL. Physically feel the stroke of leaves and branches on my skin as I walk past, feel the soft soil under my feet, feel the cold water of the stream on my face and arms. And of course, experience the feeling of fresh linen against my skin (very grateful for that!), feel the heat and the cold of the weather through all different seasons, and really feel the body and emotion of someone when I hug them real tight and they hug me back! Which all leads me to this amazing feeling inside, that feelings which I can’t describe or wouldn't even want to as in a sense (pardon the pun!) it would diminish it.

A teacher of mine often said: "Let me lead you to that place of magnificence". Yesterday morning I have been there and it was because I am human; in a human body, but I was allowing my spirit to embrace that human-ness. My senses brought me the gift of emotions and led me to that place of magnificence.

Love and light,

Celeste x

Masks

Do you sometimes wear a mask? Do you sometimes "lie" to the world or put up a front to hide your true feelings?

I guess we all do sometimes. And it might be okay, really. Wearing a mask CAN be okay, provided we know when we're "wearing" one (how often can we fool ourselves into believing what we want to portray, even if it is a lie!). And if it is temporary; that we will acknowledge (and deal with!) our true emotions at some stage. Whenever I'm teaching but do not "feel" like it (we probably all feel like that sometimes if we're honest I guess), I have to put up a front lest I "infect" the learners negatively. It could be for whatever reason - I could have had a fall-out with my partner that morning, my dog could have died, or I could be really just having a bad hair day! But if I allow any negativity to be portrayed, chances are I will have less than optimal results teaching others. Oh, there might be empathy from others; I can share what I'm feeling or what has happened, but showing empathy towards me is not the responsibility of others, and certainly is not to be used by me as any kind of "excuse".

So...I might be “wearing" a mask temporarily. And yes, I can continue to be grateful and allow positive thoughts to replace any negative emotions, but come on, we're emotional beings and we will experience less than joyful feelings at times. When I say "negative" emotions, I'm referring to those emotions that we probably do not want to feel - anger, hurt, sadness, etc. No matter how positive we are, these emotions are par for the course. So I like to refer to being REAL, instead of being positive. And if I'm REAL, there are times when I might not feel okay, and when it will be okay to put my mask on.

Oh of course once I have this mask on, I might (and probably will) automatically be feeling better after a while. - albeit behind or because of a mask. Chances are I will naturally experience a mood shift due to the physiological effect.  But in this case that is not the purpose of my mask. Its purpose is so that, even if I may not be able to spread pure joy that day (because I am human!), at least it may prevent me from spreading negative emotions!

So, I might even consider making myself a brightly coloured, crazy paper mask. To remind myself that it IS in fact a mask when I need to "wear” it, and that I need to take it off at some point, so to speak. And for a laugh!

Love and light,

Celeste x

2014 - Love and Honour

So 2013 is just about over…

If I have to take one take-away thought from this past year it is this: to Honour and Love myself. Easy words, often said. But over the past few days I have been reflecting again on what it really means to honour myself. I believe I am a divine creature and that Divinity is within and around me, as it is in others. I have a duty to honour that Divinity – to allow myself to receive, to be, and to give, without prejudice or judgement. To have a reverie for and a trust – unconditional trust – in my own being. To put my feelings and reactions aside and allow myself and others to BE.

It does not mean to fear. It does not mean to admire that which I do not agree with or hold something in regard if it does not match my values. It also does not mean to put myself down in favour of other “respected” views. It does not mean to lose my passion and my fiery nature. But it does mean to have a reason to honour (i.e. reflect my purpose), to be true to myself, to have esteem for and create a space for the respected subject, be it a person, someone’s views, or myself.

In fact, herein lies the biggest lesson – self-respect. Esteem for one’s own being. Not to clutter or cloud it with my feelings of fear, hurt, guilt or anger. NOT allowing negative influences or reactions to taint it, but to detach from situations and ensure I honour that being. Hence the second part – to love myself.

It has been said that love is near impossible to define. So I won’t attempt to do it now. But I will attempt to let a constant feeling of love and wisdom surround me and my actions. To not tolerate something in my life that I can’t love or that does not allow me to love and honour myself. Not to react to it, but simply to detach.

That does not mean I won’t assert myself. Oh yes I will! Assertiveness does not mean to react negatively. It means to stand up for and bring in to myself, that which will cause my own inner light, my true being, to shine.

So I hereby state my resolve:

To not allow situations, or people to cause me to dishonour myself.

To love myself. To love myself more.

Most of all, to allow others – and thereby myself – to BE. We are all divine creatures, regardless of our earthly actions and reactions.

Will I succeed all the time? It doesn’t matter. I resolve to love myself more.

Here’s to 2014!

Love and light,

Celeste

Pain

I'm quite sure nobody wants to really read or write about pain. It's something we try to avoid. Our natural state as human beings is one of joy. We are born as joyful beings with pure awareness and no thoughts. Later we develop thoughts and experiences - which is what elevates us over animals. But with experience, and more so, thoughts around those experiences, often comes pain. So, I deliberately titled this blog :-)

What is pain? Pain comes when our experiences do not match our expectations and our desires. When we are hurt. Should we avoid pain? Is there even a way to avoid pain? I don't believe so. I believe pain is as natural as joy, given what we experience in life. The more we live, the more joyful we can become, but along with that, we also risk incurring pain.

What to do? Sitting with pain and nurturing it makes it worse. But we might not need to "sit" with it. Yes, we might need to acknowledge it...knowing it is there, giving it some space, but knowing that the key to dealing with it (healing) comes in the action to acknowledge and then move forward. And what would that be? Maybe the first step is not to suppress tears or sadness. I have found tremendous healing in tears. It may not work for everybody; I certainly do not want to "prescribe" how to heal. I recently heard that expressing is the antidote to suppressing. Expressing my tears helps me not to suppress my pain, but to move beyond it. I give it (my sadness or tears) the time it deserves, knowing that I WILL MOVE ON. And then I start to heal. However long it takes or however many tears I need to shed. It does not matter, as it is only the first step. Joy will come again. In fact, joy may never have left, it might have only been slightly obscured by a feeling of pain that needs to lift.

And what of it never lifts? What if there is some part of us "reserved" for that pain? Like when a loved one passes, there might always be that tiny part of us that longs for them. It's okay. Acknowledge it and don't dwell upon it. Shed tears and make sure you also reserve a part of yourself for joy.

Let us not flat-line our life. Let us experience all that life on earth has to offer. Do not try to tippy-toe around pain. For heaven's sake, live! Risk all. Find a way to heal if you need to (and you will need to if you live fully), but live! Live, laugh, heal and live!

Unconditionally

Unconditional. A familiar word but one that I had to get re-acquainted with recently.

How often do we think we do all the "right" things! A friend of mine recently reminded me about giving unconditionally (in this particular instance it was about giving someone their space, but it applies to everything). Yes, I thought, I am giving unconditionally as I had no expectation. I just gave. No expectation of getting anything back. Until I realised it wasn't true. Whilst I was honestly not expecting anything in return from that person, I was after a specific outcome.

Contradictory, so let me elaborate. Whilst I wasn't expecting the person to do or say anything, I was actually hoping (expecting) that the situation will change. By itself. Expecting the universe to do something. Maybe a small voice inside of me was saying "see Universe, I 'm releasing unconditionally, letting go, not expecting a reaction from the person, and not doing it for me, but doing it for "them", so please, do your job now!" Well, maybe not as harsh but in truth, it's probably not far from accurate.

There is a universal law that dictates whatever you put "out there" you get back and that you need to be clear about what you want in order for it to manifest and become real. However, that may just be a tad simplistic. I often lose sight of the next step - allowing, and more importantly - accepting - what happens as a result of doing that (putting out positive energy and creating my reality). I will constantly create energy and be clear about what I want, but then still fret about the outcome that I want. There is a fine nuance to it that I often omit, and that is to unconditionally - really unconditionally - accept what happens (assuming I did my best and that my energy and my creating this reality is true and coming from my core). And unconditionally also means not to question or analyse. When things turn our differently than what I expected or had hoped for, I would seek a reason. "The timing wasn't quite right", or "I didn't try hard enough" (that little voice of self-blame), or, lo and behold, "I should try something different". Our ego's nature is to want to know, to need an explanation or a reason. It struggles with real, true acceptance.

What if I can learn that unconditional doesn't ever need a reason or explanation once I have done my "bit"? It is not even to do something or act a certain way because of another person, as that means there is still an outcome attached to something or somebody. What if I can truly let go and do something unconditionally? Not even vaguely hoping for or expecting a specific outcome. When I'm giving someone a gift, not expecting that person's life to make the person happy; when I'm helping someone not expecting their lives to be easier; when I'm giving space not expecting the situation to change. These things will happen, they absolutely will, provided I do my best and act from my heart. But I need to unconditionally let go of the outcome. Maybe, just maybe, I will avoid more pain.

Be impeccable with your Word

Be impeccable with your Word.

These words form the first and most profound "agreement" of Don Miguel Ruiz's The Four Agreements. I won't go into the other three here, nor what he means by the term "agreement", but I highly recommend you look it up at some point as it really has the power to transform lives if understood and applied correctly. However, I do want to dwell on the first...

I ran into trouble last week, and spent at least one full evening building up a mountain of unwanted negative energy, because what I was receiving from someone - or rather, my perception of what I was receiving - did not match my expectation. Yes, I admit, there was a little bit of selfishness and ego in there, but...honestly, I thought something should or would have happened differently. My view or blueprint "dictated" something should be a certain way, and when it turned out differently, it created anxiety and anger inside me. And yes, I turned the thought over several times that I should either change what's happening if I don't like it, or accept what's happening if I can't change it. And yes, I also realised that I THOUGHT too much. But I could not stop the current of bad energy engulfing me.

See, I know all the shoulds. I studied NLP, and know the power of words, expressions, behaviour and impressions. And I accept how fundamental gratitude, the law of attraction, compassion and meditation in my life is. These strategies and practices work for me and I would not dream living a life devoid of them again. But still, I wasn't getting anywhere. Or rather I was in Upset Land, with all the Unhappy, Impatient, Ungrateful and Fretful Ones .... Until I realised my word is not impeccable.

The meaning of Ruiz's first agreement (according to Toltec spirit) is to "speak with integrity and not to speak against yourself, to yourself or to others. It is to use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love..."

However, my Word is so much more than my spoken word, opinions, comments or thoughts. Through my Word I have the power to create using expressions, emotions, attitude, actions, as well as what I don't express or what I remain silent about.

And what does impeccable mean? Anything that causes you to hold back in your actions of love for yourself and others, goes against being impeccable. So, my actions, expressions, attitude and emotions (my Word) have to be loving and kind (impeccable) against myself.

I am pondering how I perceived someone else's Word as not matching what I expected, without adhering to the first and foremost agreement to use impeccable Words against myself. How often do I do that - create a new "agreement" based on my perception of someone else's Word?

I have the power to create and radiate love and kindness to myself, regardless of someone else’s Word!