Pain

I'm quite sure nobody wants to really read or write about pain. It's something we try to avoid. Our natural state as human beings is one of joy. We are born as joyful beings with pure awareness and no thoughts. Later we develop thoughts and experiences - which is what elevates us over animals. But with experience, and more so, thoughts around those experiences, often comes pain. So, I deliberately titled this blog :-)

What is pain? Pain comes when our experiences do not match our expectations and our desires. When we are hurt. Should we avoid pain? Is there even a way to avoid pain? I don't believe so. I believe pain is as natural as joy, given what we experience in life. The more we live, the more joyful we can become, but along with that, we also risk incurring pain.

What to do? Sitting with pain and nurturing it makes it worse. But we might not need to "sit" with it. Yes, we might need to acknowledge it...knowing it is there, giving it some space, but knowing that the key to dealing with it (healing) comes in the action to acknowledge and then move forward. And what would that be? Maybe the first step is not to suppress tears or sadness. I have found tremendous healing in tears. It may not work for everybody; I certainly do not want to "prescribe" how to heal. I recently heard that expressing is the antidote to suppressing. Expressing my tears helps me not to suppress my pain, but to move beyond it. I give it (my sadness or tears) the time it deserves, knowing that I WILL MOVE ON. And then I start to heal. However long it takes or however many tears I need to shed. It does not matter, as it is only the first step. Joy will come again. In fact, joy may never have left, it might have only been slightly obscured by a feeling of pain that needs to lift.

And what of it never lifts? What if there is some part of us "reserved" for that pain? Like when a loved one passes, there might always be that tiny part of us that longs for them. It's okay. Acknowledge it and don't dwell upon it. Shed tears and make sure you also reserve a part of yourself for joy.

Let us not flat-line our life. Let us experience all that life on earth has to offer. Do not try to tippy-toe around pain. For heaven's sake, live! Risk all. Find a way to heal if you need to (and you will need to if you live fully), but live! Live, laugh, heal and live!