Unconditionally

Unconditional. A familiar word but one that I had to get re-acquainted with recently.

How often do we think we do all the "right" things! A friend of mine recently reminded me about giving unconditionally (in this particular instance it was about giving someone their space, but it applies to everything). Yes, I thought, I am giving unconditionally as I had no expectation. I just gave. No expectation of getting anything back. Until I realised it wasn't true. Whilst I was honestly not expecting anything in return from that person, I was after a specific outcome.

Contradictory, so let me elaborate. Whilst I wasn't expecting the person to do or say anything, I was actually hoping (expecting) that the situation will change. By itself. Expecting the universe to do something. Maybe a small voice inside of me was saying "see Universe, I 'm releasing unconditionally, letting go, not expecting a reaction from the person, and not doing it for me, but doing it for "them", so please, do your job now!" Well, maybe not as harsh but in truth, it's probably not far from accurate.

There is a universal law that dictates whatever you put "out there" you get back and that you need to be clear about what you want in order for it to manifest and become real. However, that may just be a tad simplistic. I often lose sight of the next step - allowing, and more importantly - accepting - what happens as a result of doing that (putting out positive energy and creating my reality). I will constantly create energy and be clear about what I want, but then still fret about the outcome that I want. There is a fine nuance to it that I often omit, and that is to unconditionally - really unconditionally - accept what happens (assuming I did my best and that my energy and my creating this reality is true and coming from my core). And unconditionally also means not to question or analyse. When things turn our differently than what I expected or had hoped for, I would seek a reason. "The timing wasn't quite right", or "I didn't try hard enough" (that little voice of self-blame), or, lo and behold, "I should try something different". Our ego's nature is to want to know, to need an explanation or a reason. It struggles with real, true acceptance.

What if I can learn that unconditional doesn't ever need a reason or explanation once I have done my "bit"? It is not even to do something or act a certain way because of another person, as that means there is still an outcome attached to something or somebody. What if I can truly let go and do something unconditionally? Not even vaguely hoping for or expecting a specific outcome. When I'm giving someone a gift, not expecting that person's life to make the person happy; when I'm helping someone not expecting their lives to be easier; when I'm giving space not expecting the situation to change. These things will happen, they absolutely will, provided I do my best and act from my heart. But I need to unconditionally let go of the outcome. Maybe, just maybe, I will avoid more pain.