Kisk ass in style

Trawling through social media and blogs today, I became aware of the theme I'm picking up on today. Our awareness goes what we focus on, and for a few days I have been pondering the notion of fitting in, or conforming to the expectations of society (or not!). So the thread I'm noticing today is one of don't ask for permission, just go out there and do it.

Actually that is not true. I have not only thought of "fitting in" for the last few days. I have been thinking that my whole life. As long as I can remember, my biggest desire was to fit in, to be accepted, to be one of "them". To blend in and to disappear. To lose or not develop my individuality. These last descriptions only dawned upon me once I finally gave up the struggle (and it was a struggle!) to fit in. Oh, of course I respect boundaries and have a very healthy sense of what is appropriate (behaviour, dress, language etc.) in any given situation, or rather, most of the time <chuckle>.

So I'm wondering how many of us sometimes feel a bit restricted by what society expects of us. Or actually, our perception of what society expects of us. We constantly worry what others think of us. And I guess we all know "others" (society, they) don't give a hoot really. Because "they" are too worried about what others think of them. But still we keep that safety blanket over us and for some of us that blanket becomes h-e-a-v-y.

So throw it off. It is very liberating to celebrate your individualism. Many of us long to do it. But, there is a big BUT. You have to do it with style and confidence. If you want to portray the message that you don't care (within healthy social parameters) for fitting in, your whole being should reflect that. You have to stand tall in your uniqueness.

So, the message I got today was to not ask for permission (from who again???), but to go out there and do it. And I'm adding....."but do it with charisma, courage and guts!" If you're going to kick ass, kick ass in style!

PS - you want to share stories of how-to, let me know, happy to share experiences.

Love and light,

Celeste

Balance

The whole universe adheres to natural laws of balance. Every manmade structure needs balance. Every yoga class always has a few balance asanas (poses) in it. Everything we know has at least two sides - day and night, summer and winter, up and down, even good and evil. So why do we as humans often think we can defy this? Often ignoring or not even acknowledging the concept of balance in our lives. Someone told me this morning it has been 13 years since they've taken a holiday. The other day I heard about someone driving for 6 hours straight, not taking their foot off the pedal once. I see people eating too much at one sitting in restaurants. I know of people who either never socialize, or always socialize. At one stage I always wore black.

Now obviously it is admirable and possibly empowering to do something that requires focus and determination for a prolonged period of time. To be able to complete a sporting endurance event, for example. To focus and complete a task brings enormous satisfaction. And is required! And of course we all indulge ever so often, whatever the indulgence may be! And that is okay.

What may not be okay is if we don't realize an imbalance, or worse, when we realize it and we are unable to do something about it. We know it - too much is not a good thing.

And often it is not because we don't know that our lives are out of whack. Take for instance balance in our relationships. People often they know they do not allow themselves (or their partner) sufficient time, in lieu of work, kids, outside demands. They consciously know of an imbalance but are incapable of addressing it as their lives are just "too crazy". Or they say they don't read enough, or spend too much time on social media, or spend too much money, however they define "too much" or "not enough".

We can address the need-to's, ought-to's, shoulds and shouldn'ts. These are symptoms of our views and blueprints, and often signals of a deeper cause. But let's start with a slightly simpler way to create more balance.

Take a look at all the areas of your life as objectively as possible and check for any imbalances. Now....

Ask yourself WHY instead of HOW

Yes, the HOW might be important, but don't negate the reason for understanding why you do something. And seek the reason within yourself, not outside. The person who has not taken a holiday for 13 years has most likely not done it because of a boss, money, outside pressure or because they didn't get to the HOW'S. The perpetual over-eater is doing so because of some underlying reason, not because they don't know HOW to stop.

Once we know the real why, we can address it. What we THINK is the issue, rarely is. It is always the pattern, not the problem.

Start small

Don't try to change everything at once. Identifying all areas to address may highlight a pattern of behaviour, and that is all you need to start. Breaking the pattern is the next step.

Get outside perspective

A coach can not only help us see a pattern more clearly, but can guide us to identify blocks that may prevent us from moving forward, and support us to break the pattern. They can also hold us accountable, which is often what we need to prevent us from falling back into a pattern. Get yourself a life coach.

Become more self-aware

Notice when you are beginning to get out of alignment in any area. We often don't see the needle on the scale creeping up before it is "too late". People from failed marriages often say.... if only I'd known, or did/didn't..." Doing this does not take time. Learn to notice your emotions in any given situations as they are barometers or warning signals. Learn to pay attention to your own body. Take time before you react so you notice your emotions, thoughts and physical reactions.

Journal

Even if you enter one line a day, it is a start. Learn, understand and manage your life. Now look back onto it and reflect – what are the entries about?

Be grateful

Cultivate a habit of being grateful for everything. The beauty if this is that it automatically brings a sense of perspective. And ultimately, balance.

Then, take action…..we’ll talk about that next time.

Love and light,

Celeste

Abandon your past??

Are you courageous enough to abandon your past? Many of us have trouble leaving behind the scars of a past that was challenging, dark or sad. But that's a topic for another day...plenty of "let go" affirmations focus on that one. But can you abandon a past that was successful.

Huh? Why abandon a past that was successful?

Because that's how you grow!

Abandon is a strong word. Soften it if you like, but be firm. If you want to move forward, you need to move your whole body in the same direction - forward. Both legs, both arms, head, and eyes in front of you. Oh, absolutely smell the roses on the way, bask in tour glories, relax and saviour the memories, but move forward.

A lot of us stay stuck in our heads. We call it memories, treasures, etc. but in reality the same thought patterns revolve over and over the same things, and before we know it, we are stuck. Sadly stuck.

I once had a friend who always used to say "better a has-been than a never-been". I believe that statement can be taken totally out of context. I have more respect for the person who keeps on trying after failing again and again (as long as they keep on tying though!) - who some may dismiss as a "never-been", - than I have for the person who keeps on blowing their trumpet about an "achievement" they had years ago. Success is relative. Who was it who said "you're only as good as your last success"? <Substitute success with game, performance, run, book...>

Notice I used the word courageous in the opening line. Because it really is! So take credit if you succeed!

Love and light,

Celeste

Just go back to bed!

There is this wonderful line in Elizabeth Gilbert's "Eat, Pray, Love" right in the beginning, when Liz is just starting to experience turmoil around her marriage where she goes into the bathroom and hears this voice: "Just go back to bed!" No earth-shattering, life altering command, no great vision asking her to abandon everything right there and then, no field-of-dreams-if-you-build-it-they-will-come-type voice. No, just a quiet voice (which she actually realised as coming from within her) telling her to do the only sensible thing she could do at that moment. Now, Liz at the time is starting to question her life's purpose and meaning so just to "go back to bed" was probably not what she was anticipating. But she obeys. And things start changing.

And isn't that the beauty of how things happen. If - IF - we let it, “It”< and whether you want to call "It" the universe, God, divine guidance, Source> always has to best timing. It is when we interfere or have expectations that things often go pear shaped. Oh, sure we have to take action on the calling, and Liz did, but right at that moment the realization was enough for her. She did not need to do anything more than go back to bed, as her path had already been altered.

And I’m thinking of myself in this scenario. I can procrastinate for days, weeks, months and then when I finally get going, wild horses can't stop me. When I feel a "calling", I want to act immediately. Going back to bed is then not an option. I can just see myself saying - "well, God, (I refer to God not in a religious sense or as a separate entity, but as a name for the divine guidance within and around me), God, you wanted me to realise/see/understand this, and here I am, ready and willing (well sometimes not so willing, but still) - and you're telling me to go back to bed??"

Yet, sometimes it is just the act of surrendering, allowing and doing nothing that is the next step. Actually, come to think of it, if I trust this guidance enough to having come to realise this, shouldn't I also trust it to guide me further? So really, we are probably dealing with my very old and familiar friend, IMPATIENCE. Going back to bed did not mean Liz's life was not going to change; it just was not going to (physically) change THAT NIGHT. That night she needed the rest.

So, let us just "go back to bed" when we need the rest.

Love and light,

Celeste

Being human

We are spiritual beings in a human body. I constantly wish to be more spiritual and often chastise myself for being too "human". I would prefer to let Spirit guide me more, but my ego so often gets the better of me. But yesterday during my walk in the woods I truly marvelled at being in a human body.  The spirit guides and the angels are wonderful beings and I am grateful for their presence in my life, but I almost (well, not really, but almost almost) felt pity on them as I was experiencing the wonder of my (human) senses.

Because I am human, I can SEE. Not merely look at nature but truly see the beauty....little insects, bigger birds....the beauty of the trees, the nuances of colours and shades on rocks and stones, different species of plants and how they grow in unison. And further afield, the intricacies in a painting, the love in a mother's eyes holding her baby, the concentration on the face of children totally engrossed in an activity. Even see the opportunities to bestow compassion and help to others.

Because I am human, I can LISTEN. To birds conversing, branches swaying to the music of the breeze. Even to the stillness, that place within me where all is quiet. Then, when I get back home and hear the neighbours' loud voices, I can choose, before getting irritated and uptight about it, to be grateful for the gift of hearing as it enables me to listen to the world and to my fellow humans. To once more realize we are social beings and be grateful for the connection to and reassurance of people around me.

Because I am human, I can SMELL. What a wonderful gift breathing is! I can welcome the prana deep into my lungs and invite the smells and energies of this world to play and intertwine inside me. What wonderful memories certain fragrances invoke - freshly cut grass, delicious home-made soup, the countryside after being washed by rain - or before, the perfume of a loved one. But I can also smell urbanisation, development and people round me. Whilst all may not be pleasant smells, it reminds me of longing and belonging.

Because I am human, I can TASTE. Yes, whilst walking I can "taste" the bush, but how awesome to taste a sip of water, to taste food, taste a piece of cheesecake, taste a lover. I can experience a smorgasbord of gustatory delights, and it doesn't need to involve food.

But mostly, because I am human, I can FEEL. Physically feel the stroke of leaves and branches on my skin as I walk past, feel the soft soil under my feet, feel the cold water of the stream on my face and arms. And of course, experience the feeling of fresh linen against my skin (very grateful for that!), feel the heat and the cold of the weather through all different seasons, and really feel the body and emotion of someone when I hug them real tight and they hug me back! Which all leads me to this amazing feeling inside, that feelings which I can’t describe or wouldn't even want to as in a sense (pardon the pun!) it would diminish it.

A teacher of mine often said: "Let me lead you to that place of magnificence". Yesterday morning I have been there and it was because I am human; in a human body, but I was allowing my spirit to embrace that human-ness. My senses brought me the gift of emotions and led me to that place of magnificence.

Love and light,

Celeste x

Masks

Do you sometimes wear a mask? Do you sometimes "lie" to the world or put up a front to hide your true feelings?

I guess we all do sometimes. And it might be okay, really. Wearing a mask CAN be okay, provided we know when we're "wearing" one (how often can we fool ourselves into believing what we want to portray, even if it is a lie!). And if it is temporary; that we will acknowledge (and deal with!) our true emotions at some stage. Whenever I'm teaching but do not "feel" like it (we probably all feel like that sometimes if we're honest I guess), I have to put up a front lest I "infect" the learners negatively. It could be for whatever reason - I could have had a fall-out with my partner that morning, my dog could have died, or I could be really just having a bad hair day! But if I allow any negativity to be portrayed, chances are I will have less than optimal results teaching others. Oh, there might be empathy from others; I can share what I'm feeling or what has happened, but showing empathy towards me is not the responsibility of others, and certainly is not to be used by me as any kind of "excuse".

So...I might be “wearing" a mask temporarily. And yes, I can continue to be grateful and allow positive thoughts to replace any negative emotions, but come on, we're emotional beings and we will experience less than joyful feelings at times. When I say "negative" emotions, I'm referring to those emotions that we probably do not want to feel - anger, hurt, sadness, etc. No matter how positive we are, these emotions are par for the course. So I like to refer to being REAL, instead of being positive. And if I'm REAL, there are times when I might not feel okay, and when it will be okay to put my mask on.

Oh of course once I have this mask on, I might (and probably will) automatically be feeling better after a while. - albeit behind or because of a mask. Chances are I will naturally experience a mood shift due to the physiological effect.  But in this case that is not the purpose of my mask. Its purpose is so that, even if I may not be able to spread pure joy that day (because I am human!), at least it may prevent me from spreading negative emotions!

So, I might even consider making myself a brightly coloured, crazy paper mask. To remind myself that it IS in fact a mask when I need to "wear” it, and that I need to take it off at some point, so to speak. And for a laugh!

Love and light,

Celeste x

2014 - Love and Honour

So 2013 is just about over…

If I have to take one take-away thought from this past year it is this: to Honour and Love myself. Easy words, often said. But over the past few days I have been reflecting again on what it really means to honour myself. I believe I am a divine creature and that Divinity is within and around me, as it is in others. I have a duty to honour that Divinity – to allow myself to receive, to be, and to give, without prejudice or judgement. To have a reverie for and a trust – unconditional trust – in my own being. To put my feelings and reactions aside and allow myself and others to BE.

It does not mean to fear. It does not mean to admire that which I do not agree with or hold something in regard if it does not match my values. It also does not mean to put myself down in favour of other “respected” views. It does not mean to lose my passion and my fiery nature. But it does mean to have a reason to honour (i.e. reflect my purpose), to be true to myself, to have esteem for and create a space for the respected subject, be it a person, someone’s views, or myself.

In fact, herein lies the biggest lesson – self-respect. Esteem for one’s own being. Not to clutter or cloud it with my feelings of fear, hurt, guilt or anger. NOT allowing negative influences or reactions to taint it, but to detach from situations and ensure I honour that being. Hence the second part – to love myself.

It has been said that love is near impossible to define. So I won’t attempt to do it now. But I will attempt to let a constant feeling of love and wisdom surround me and my actions. To not tolerate something in my life that I can’t love or that does not allow me to love and honour myself. Not to react to it, but simply to detach.

That does not mean I won’t assert myself. Oh yes I will! Assertiveness does not mean to react negatively. It means to stand up for and bring in to myself, that which will cause my own inner light, my true being, to shine.

So I hereby state my resolve:

To not allow situations, or people to cause me to dishonour myself.

To love myself. To love myself more.

Most of all, to allow others – and thereby myself – to BE. We are all divine creatures, regardless of our earthly actions and reactions.

Will I succeed all the time? It doesn’t matter. I resolve to love myself more.

Here’s to 2014!

Love and light,

Celeste