Kisk ass in style

Trawling through social media and blogs today, I became aware of the theme I'm picking up on today. Our awareness goes what we focus on, and for a few days I have been pondering the notion of fitting in, or conforming to the expectations of society (or not!). So the thread I'm noticing today is one of don't ask for permission, just go out there and do it.

Actually that is not true. I have not only thought of "fitting in" for the last few days. I have been thinking that my whole life. As long as I can remember, my biggest desire was to fit in, to be accepted, to be one of "them". To blend in and to disappear. To lose or not develop my individuality. These last descriptions only dawned upon me once I finally gave up the struggle (and it was a struggle!) to fit in. Oh, of course I respect boundaries and have a very healthy sense of what is appropriate (behaviour, dress, language etc.) in any given situation, or rather, most of the time <chuckle>.

So I'm wondering how many of us sometimes feel a bit restricted by what society expects of us. Or actually, our perception of what society expects of us. We constantly worry what others think of us. And I guess we all know "others" (society, they) don't give a hoot really. Because "they" are too worried about what others think of them. But still we keep that safety blanket over us and for some of us that blanket becomes h-e-a-v-y.

So throw it off. It is very liberating to celebrate your individualism. Many of us long to do it. But, there is a big BUT. You have to do it with style and confidence. If you want to portray the message that you don't care (within healthy social parameters) for fitting in, your whole being should reflect that. You have to stand tall in your uniqueness.

So, the message I got today was to not ask for permission (from who again???), but to go out there and do it. And I'm adding....."but do it with charisma, courage and guts!" If you're going to kick ass, kick ass in style!

PS - you want to share stories of how-to, let me know, happy to share experiences.

Love and light,

Celeste

Balance

The whole universe adheres to natural laws of balance. Every manmade structure needs balance. Every yoga class always has a few balance asanas (poses) in it. Everything we know has at least two sides - day and night, summer and winter, up and down, even good and evil. So why do we as humans often think we can defy this? Often ignoring or not even acknowledging the concept of balance in our lives. Someone told me this morning it has been 13 years since they've taken a holiday. The other day I heard about someone driving for 6 hours straight, not taking their foot off the pedal once. I see people eating too much at one sitting in restaurants. I know of people who either never socialize, or always socialize. At one stage I always wore black.

Now obviously it is admirable and possibly empowering to do something that requires focus and determination for a prolonged period of time. To be able to complete a sporting endurance event, for example. To focus and complete a task brings enormous satisfaction. And is required! And of course we all indulge ever so often, whatever the indulgence may be! And that is okay.

What may not be okay is if we don't realize an imbalance, or worse, when we realize it and we are unable to do something about it. We know it - too much is not a good thing.

And often it is not because we don't know that our lives are out of whack. Take for instance balance in our relationships. People often they know they do not allow themselves (or their partner) sufficient time, in lieu of work, kids, outside demands. They consciously know of an imbalance but are incapable of addressing it as their lives are just "too crazy". Or they say they don't read enough, or spend too much time on social media, or spend too much money, however they define "too much" or "not enough".

We can address the need-to's, ought-to's, shoulds and shouldn'ts. These are symptoms of our views and blueprints, and often signals of a deeper cause. But let's start with a slightly simpler way to create more balance.

Take a look at all the areas of your life as objectively as possible and check for any imbalances. Now....

Ask yourself WHY instead of HOW

Yes, the HOW might be important, but don't negate the reason for understanding why you do something. And seek the reason within yourself, not outside. The person who has not taken a holiday for 13 years has most likely not done it because of a boss, money, outside pressure or because they didn't get to the HOW'S. The perpetual over-eater is doing so because of some underlying reason, not because they don't know HOW to stop.

Once we know the real why, we can address it. What we THINK is the issue, rarely is. It is always the pattern, not the problem.

Start small

Don't try to change everything at once. Identifying all areas to address may highlight a pattern of behaviour, and that is all you need to start. Breaking the pattern is the next step.

Get outside perspective

A coach can not only help us see a pattern more clearly, but can guide us to identify blocks that may prevent us from moving forward, and support us to break the pattern. They can also hold us accountable, which is often what we need to prevent us from falling back into a pattern. Get yourself a life coach.

Become more self-aware

Notice when you are beginning to get out of alignment in any area. We often don't see the needle on the scale creeping up before it is "too late". People from failed marriages often say.... if only I'd known, or did/didn't..." Doing this does not take time. Learn to notice your emotions in any given situations as they are barometers or warning signals. Learn to pay attention to your own body. Take time before you react so you notice your emotions, thoughts and physical reactions.

Journal

Even if you enter one line a day, it is a start. Learn, understand and manage your life. Now look back onto it and reflect – what are the entries about?

Be grateful

Cultivate a habit of being grateful for everything. The beauty if this is that it automatically brings a sense of perspective. And ultimately, balance.

Then, take action…..we’ll talk about that next time.

Love and light,

Celeste