Be impeccable with your Word

Be impeccable with your Word.

These words form the first and most profound "agreement" of Don Miguel Ruiz's The Four Agreements. I won't go into the other three here, nor what he means by the term "agreement", but I highly recommend you look it up at some point as it really has the power to transform lives if understood and applied correctly. However, I do want to dwell on the first...

I ran into trouble last week, and spent at least one full evening building up a mountain of unwanted negative energy, because what I was receiving from someone - or rather, my perception of what I was receiving - did not match my expectation. Yes, I admit, there was a little bit of selfishness and ego in there, but...honestly, I thought something should or would have happened differently. My view or blueprint "dictated" something should be a certain way, and when it turned out differently, it created anxiety and anger inside me. And yes, I turned the thought over several times that I should either change what's happening if I don't like it, or accept what's happening if I can't change it. And yes, I also realised that I THOUGHT too much. But I could not stop the current of bad energy engulfing me.

See, I know all the shoulds. I studied NLP, and know the power of words, expressions, behaviour and impressions. And I accept how fundamental gratitude, the law of attraction, compassion and meditation in my life is. These strategies and practices work for me and I would not dream living a life devoid of them again. But still, I wasn't getting anywhere. Or rather I was in Upset Land, with all the Unhappy, Impatient, Ungrateful and Fretful Ones .... Until I realised my word is not impeccable.

The meaning of Ruiz's first agreement (according to Toltec spirit) is to "speak with integrity and not to speak against yourself, to yourself or to others. It is to use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love..."

However, my Word is so much more than my spoken word, opinions, comments or thoughts. Through my Word I have the power to create using expressions, emotions, attitude, actions, as well as what I don't express or what I remain silent about.

And what does impeccable mean? Anything that causes you to hold back in your actions of love for yourself and others, goes against being impeccable. So, my actions, expressions, attitude and emotions (my Word) have to be loving and kind (impeccable) against myself.

I am pondering how I perceived someone else's Word as not matching what I expected, without adhering to the first and foremost agreement to use impeccable Words against myself. How often do I do that - create a new "agreement" based on my perception of someone else's Word?

I have the power to create and radiate love and kindness to myself, regardless of someone else’s Word!

Darkness and Light

Darkness and Light

Day over night. Light over darkness. It's like these are opposing forces. Mutually exclusive. Are they really?

We all need light; sunlight for energy, warmth and survival. Light usually represents goodness. We light candles as a symbol of love, forgiveness and compassion. We refer to "our darkest hour" when things go really bad. We glow or radiate (give light) when we are happy, but are gloomy and dark when we feel sad.

There are many sayings and quotes about light and darkness, that the one can't be without the other, that we have to experience darkness to appreciate the sun and so on. Which is all true, but come to think of it, these quotes really want to make us feel LESS BAD about the so-called darkness. Don't get me wrong, I love metaphors and it is such a wonderful, rich way of "colouring" (with light) our thoughts, language and actions, but....

Do we have to feel bad about darkness? Or even afraid?

What is darkness really? It is only light not being reflected. It really is only a period where more natural is being absorbed. A different force at play.

I have always preferred the light. Whilst I am not afraid of the dark, I feel more whole in the light. So can darkness be my friend? Instead of being the opposite of the light I love and need so much, can it just be a different force in my life? You know what, I do not need to "choose" darkness, but I can be okay with it. I can embrace it as a time of reflection, rest and recuperation. And I can still provide light when there is darkness around me.

Reflection - I accept times of "less light" in my life and recognize these as natural periods to focus on different aspects of life, during which I can provide light. I embrace these different forces and remain open to what I may learn during these periods. I am. And, if I choose to be, I am LIGHT, day or night.

Stories

As a child I used to love stories. I loved reading them, but more so, I loved telling them. Making them up as I go. I remember as the eldest child how I would tell stories to my younger siblings and how they literally hung onto every word. I think I enjoyed it even more than them.

Somehow, later I stopped reading and telling stories. The "stories" were now in my head, as I was either re-thinking (and analysing) something that has happened, or thinking about (and planning) something I thought would or should happen. I later realised how often that happens in life, how somehow we just forgot to live and feel the story, how somehow we started to control our thoughts and actions around it.

Even so, we never stop telling stories. Our "stories" reflect our core values, beliefs, how we view the world, and often, how we want the world to view us. It is what we portray to others. Regardless whether others are interested in "reading" our "stories", we are still "telling" them! But often we just don't pay attention or we pre-empt others' stories. People naturally gravitate towards stories that reflect or align with their own stories or expectations. You may have a reason why you are drawn towards a particular movie or book. When you watch that movie or read that book, you don't always know how the story will unfold, although you might know (or think you know) the theme or essence of the story. And have you noticed how when you don't have a clue what to expect of the storyline, how, as every scene unfolds, your feelings and responses may unfold along with it (annoyance or boredom are also feelings or responses!). Even when you don't know the story at all, you still form a picture of how you think or expect the story to be. You can even reach the end of the movie or book, being pleasantly surprised or having changed your mind about aspects of the story along the way. That is what we also do, constantly "reading" others' stories - often clouding their true stories with our expectations or judgements. Have you made the mistake of expecting how someone else's story may unfold without just following the story? I certainly have!

Imagine your life as a series of images and happenings. What would your story be if it were to be told? If you were the lead character, how would you come across?

What is the story you are telling today? Is it in line with the story you have been telling people about you? Or want to tell people about you? It may be time to change your story. Or time to better understand others' stories, even helping them to change their stories....